Creating, Consuming & Letting Go

BY Heather Zollman 
November 12, 2018

Hello friends:)  I am Heather, a wife, a mom, a business owner, a yoga and coffee lover that enjoys hugging trees…like for real (one time it got really messy!)…and a sky gazer.  I have a personal Facebook account,  a Yoga Mama’Z Facebook account,  Instagram (very new to this one) and I have a Twitter account…although I don’t really know what a tweet it and honestly have never looked at it.  I created a Snap Shot or Snap Chat account (I think Snap Shot is an insurance thing?) but cancelled that right away knowing I would never use it.  If you’re sensing a bit of a “whatever” attitude about when it comes to this subject, then you are on to my topic of social media.

It seems that every time a new (I do not know the right terminology here) mode? of social media is born, my first thought is…I am so not doing that!  Hell, it was a monumental thing when I finally gave in and started texting!  Friends and family made fun of me for so long, because I refused to use it!  Lame was the word that came to mind when I thought of it.  I really felt like it was better to pick up the phone and actually speak to someone.  But, I caved.  And I do have to say that texting is convenient:)  I was the same with Facebook.  I thought my husband was a little crazy for joining when it became the newest craze.  And yet again…I joined the masses.

I feel like I’m going to sound like a fuddy-duddy here, but I’m okay with it.  I really have a love/strongly dislike (I don’t like the word hate) relationship with social media.  It definitely has its perks, especially if you are a business owner.  It’s good for getting the word out…advertising, fund-raisers and connecting with family members and friends.  I LOVE seeing pictures of my niece and nephews, friends children and the like!  It has been fun to re-connect with childhood friends too.  I moved a few times growing up, so that wouldn’t have happened without Facebook.  And when I opened Yoga Mama’Z it was a great way to get the word out about classes, events and things coming up in the studio!  It actually helped through the grief process, when my father passed away too.  People sending messages through messenger wanting to offer prayers and encouragement were amazing!  The support I felt from people was beyond helpful!

Enter…the other side of it all.  The words that come to mind are COMPARISON, COMPETITION, NOT ENOUGH, LONELY, DISTRACTED.  I find it interesting that something that was created to connect can make people feel like they aren’t connected at all.  I think it goes back to the comparison factor.  And it’s not just us adults!  I think that it affects the kids even MORE possibly.  I have 2 teenagers and a 9 year old right now in my house. How many times have my older two been in the same room with their friends and they are all sitting around “communicating” through their phones?!?  Adults do it too!  I know that we have to move with the times (or do we?) but this all seems a little crazy!  I am guilty of it too.  Have you ever gone on your phone to do something and all of a sudden find yourself veering off onto Instagram or Facebook, mindlessly scrolling through pictures of other peoples vacations, weight loss journeys, pictures of what they are eating, body transformation pictures and by the end you feel a little less about yourself?  I always think after…I won’t be able to get those minutes back.  And guess what… those people that you are comparing yourself too???  They are feeling the same way, and probably just compared themselves to you!

I was told I should create an Instagram account, because it was more relevant than Facebook now.  So I did.  And to be really honest…I began spiraling into the abyss of not doing enoughness.  I think I just made up that term:)  _______ is doing this so much better, _______ makes it look so easy!  _________ is already doing the thing I was planning to do…so why attempt it?   This is where I had to step back and remind myself of the book The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.  Heather…snap out of it!  Don’t make assumptions!  Always do your best!  Be impeccable with your word!  And don’t take anything personally!  Also, the YIN yoga practice of letting things come up and then letting them go…without judging yourself for feeling them comes into play here!  Geesh.  So what do you do when the comparisons come in and the I’m not doing enoughness?  I step away from it.  I close my eyes and I breathe…inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth like a sigh . . . and I work on letting that s*** go!  I think about something I am grateful for.  I pray and lean into God.

I was on the phone with a friend this week and we were talking on this very subject.  I was feeling frustrated, and blurted out…

“I would so love it if every time I saw someone rocking it in the same area of work I am in, that my first reaction was…good for you friend!  I am so proud of you!  Sometimes it’s my first reaction.  Other times it sounds more like…well, they already did that, and they probably did it better  than I would have (preceeded by the instant stomach drop of…dammit!).  Or the…that’s what I was going to do!  Why does my mind have to get in the way and create drama within myself?  Ugh.  The mind can make things so hard!”

My friend replied with…“this is one of the reasons I love you Heather Zollman.  You are brutally honest.”  Followed by her laughter and admitting she totally understands the feeling and where I am coming from.  I asked her if she thought I was terrible.  And she said “No, you are human.”

There it is friends.  I am not alone, and neither are you.  We are all in this together, doing our best.  So even when our human feelings come up…show yourself some grace and compassion.  Breathe.  Feel it and let it go!

It’s up to you what you consume.  I used to listen to podcasts all the time.  I LOVE podcasts!  I was listening to many women business ones…Rachel Hollis, Jena Kutcher and similar (they are fabulous!) on walks and while working around the house.  One day I had ENOUGH!  I had the feeling of taking in too much information, and like I could never catch up to what I was SUPPOSED to be doing.  I mentioned this to another friend.  His advice…Heather, you are consuming more than you are creating.  Go create!  That’s what you love to do!  So I did.  And it felt…amazing!

Consider this your friendly reminder saying…step away when you need to.  Create YOUR thing.  Listen to your thoughts and your body.  Do what feels right.  And…

Always Do Your Best
Don’t Make Assumptions
Be Impeccable with Your Word
Don’t Take Things Personally

It’s definitely a practice:)  Thank you for your unique contribution to this world.  Keep on creating!  And let’s encourage and support each other!  Love to You All!  Peace Out!